Fixer Upper
May 12, 2008 by chrislacour
The splinter’s been in his hand for three days. Under the skin, it’s black, stained with old dried blood. The area around this little nuisance is red, swollen and tender. It’s infected.
This little foreign object, this sliver of wood, this dagger, is stuck somewhere in the middle of the web that stretches from his thumb to his forefinger. He can’t wrap his hand around his motel rooms doorknob without cringing, without swearing. From the brown paper bag that’s pinched between his thighs, he draws a bottle, pulling it from the neck with his left hand. He grips its body with his right. Swearing. His chest tenses, he throws his arm out in front of him, his fingers spread wide apart, his eyes water as he tries to shake away the pain. This splinter, it’s all he has from that night. Their last night together.
Three times, maybe four. It could have been more than that even, he stopped listening after at least the third. This is how many times she asked him, begged him, pleaded, told him, “Sand the fucking railings already,” she’d said.
The railing that lined the edges of the porch, dropping off down each side of the steps, it was old, it had fat, carved posts at every corner. And it was broken. The bathtub needed to be caulked. The kitchen sink dripped, staining the white ceramic with an ugly yellow blemish. Until it was fixed. The tub was caulked. The railing fixed, almost fixed. Everything that needed to be repaired was.
Almost everything.
Copyright © May 2008 Chris La Cour
Cool, balance, momentum, great attention to detail and this is the second piece of short fiction I read today that worked one almost invisible sentence in to give weight ,”Their last night together.” It spreads the story in time in a really intriguing way, sense of menace. Rage on, I am really enjoying your explorations of story, of expansive narrative and style.
Paul, I have to say I’m really enjoying your comments! thanks for your great input.
That is a great comment from Paul - I can’t top it! But I do agree, that line adds to the intruige and pushes you ahead. The last line is pretty good too! I like your style a lot. The detail is simple but it acts to draw you right in so you can then swing that axe… nice
Thanks, Simonne!
I loved this. Your discription of the physical feeling reveals the emotion at hand. Write on.
so do you have a book i can pick up at borders or something? loving your work and i’m 3 pieces down the front of your blog. you allow me to savor each sentence. your stories are patient and direct me with calculated maneuver. i know when to reread, to listen beyond reading. its just all very good.
wow, what a compliment that is, Sarah. Thanks.
But no, there are no books. (not yet)
Keep reading, I hope you enjoy the others as much as you have the first few.